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What one man wrote about his affair partner:
I knew you before you were married. I lusted for you then and, of course, now.
I have watched you change from our years together. From a woman with no confidence to a woman who is proud of her body and her desire. Your husband robbed you of your worth. How vibrant and vivacious you were. His constant criticism wore you to nothing, a shell of what you had been.
This is how some women change in an affairs. Especially those from a deader-than-dead bedroom.
They find their sexual self.
“You go, girl!”
Society generally encourages women’s sexual expression. I know that I’ve revealed my indiscretions to some people in my “real” life, and I’ve gotten the “You go girl” response.
Taking back my desire.
That was the bottom line. I wouldn’t be denied anymore. Yet, the irony for cheating men was the opposite.
“You are a dirty pig!”
“Why didn’t you try harder to connect to your wife?”
“I bet you only care about your own pleasure.”
Men were assumed to be the “bad guys” in affairs. They didn’t have a moral conscience or an intractable dead bedroom — they just wanted to get some.
Not necessarily correct.
I think it can be the same for both sexes.
Joy in taking back their sexuality.
No sex marriages rob us of our worth. We succumb to the “I’m not attractive enough” narrative, although that might not be true.
“She/He doesn’t want me.”
“Nothing I do is ever good enough.”
I’ve witnessed first hand the power of heavy-handed criticism in a relationship. It’s a marriage killer for a reason. I left because I realized, finally, that I needed much more.
More joy. More laughter. More fun. More desire. All the mores.
When I decided that being anchored to a partner who didn’t have my back wasn’t enough. We weren’t wearing each other’s jerseys. I ended up playing on his team only. And I was always losing.
Why do some women have affairs?
Because their spouse robs them of their worth.
And when they finally have appreciation, they blossom.
It’s so simple.
…
If you don’t fuck your wife, someone else will.
…
And this is why I wrote the “Ravenous” series in my car in the parking lot of a hotel room after I just got fucked senseless on a Tuesday afternoon. Read them all.
Ravenous — Part One
Hotel Meets With My Lover
medium.com
- Subscribe to The Scarlett Letter — it’s much more fun with the sinners. Billy Joel was right. Only the good die young.
- And to monalisasmile@substack.com because it’s free and I’m so bad, I’m good.
- Plus help a lady adulteress out: Ko-fi/monalisasmiled or monalisasmiled@patreon.com
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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The post How Women Change in an Affair? appeared first on The Good Men Project.